Weekly Letter: Light & Dark Part 3

*Weekly Letter is the letter I include in my weekly yoga studio newsletter.*

There is something very loving about this idea of how yoga can approach you in ways that defy words. How it can be more a feeling than anything and when you hit the stride of it all you just move as though in a dream. Colors are different, and what you see and feel pull together in such a harmony there are few experiences like it.

I recently heard a recording of a friend dictating a meditation for Pranakriya, and my ears just relaxed hearing her. Her words danced through and I felt my entire body soften. Listening to her was as warm as the light in that old studio.

But is this where the light lives? Is this feeling the light?

Could be. It also could just be a deeper sense of relaxation. The tricky part is, I can’t identify the light and dark for you, because everyone’s definition and scale is different. But you, knowing these ideas can begin to consider them.

The light, like the darkness isn’t a destination. We don’t just find the light and live there-otherwise it would be the Precious in a sense and you Gollum. We would have feelings and ideas of grandeur and it would be hard to leave. The light is a part of you which can be activated or snuffed out. It is the exploration of the range of emotion and experience, but it lives very closely to the dark.

It’s the absence of dark. Not the opposite of dark. Like how a gentle cloud can dampen the light, so the purity of the light is always impacted by degrees of dark.

Weekly Letter: Light & Dark Part 2

*Weekly Letter is the letter I include in my weekly yoga studio newsletter.*

Early in my teaching career, I was talking about the concept of light & dark in a general sense to a group of students. One of my students was very upset by this concept and expressed their belief yoga was only good and happy and peaceful. The thought of yoga being connected to your darkness was something they were not wanting to accept.

It was an awkward teaching moment, but also one that left an impression because of the size of their reaction. They were genuinely surprised and I hated that I was the one who shattered their illusion of yoga, however misguided it was.

Since, I have probably over-corrected and sometimes spend too much time talking about the dark. All in an effort to protect students through a warning.

Maybe I should change the analogy to more of a The Lord of the Rings analogy and instead call the dark, ‘Middle-earth’ so individuals feel less daunted by what I mean. Because really, the dark is all the sh*t that happens along the way. Our moments that are less shiny, potentially devastating but also brought us to where we are today. These are the things that make us interesting and dynamic. The things that separate and connect us all-whether we talk about them or not. Our Middle-earth is broad and contains all our peaks and valleys…and it’s weather.

Our practice cannot be present without all the facets of who we are. To pretend those are not apart of us negates a central part of our humanity. So maybe it’s not the darkness exactly or Middle-earth, maybe its all the grey too.

But what about the light?

Weekly Letter: Light & Dark Part 1 of 4

*Weekly Letter is the letter I include in my weekly yoga studio newsletter.*

When I think back to my early days as a new practioner, attending the Washington Street studio for classes, I largely remember the light in the room. The way it moved through you as though a blanket of warm, safe energy reaching to hold you.

My early days of practice were all about finding the light. Maybe that was something I was seeking. Maybe it was something I needed as I worked nights. Maybe it was something I was trying to cultivate within myself.

Over time, my relationship to yoga and my practice changed, and even when I felt as though I was on a good track, the darkness would come into my practice from unexpected places. I was going through a lot at the time and I knew it in the moment. I remember through training the dark can come to surface. I don’t think it surprised me as much as it confirmed my own suspicion that chalana (churning) was in full effect.

This isn’t to say yoga introduces darkness but makes you aware of the darkness that already lives inside. Things we bury, things we hoped to move on from, they can resurface.

So I ask you, do you believe there is both light and dark inside of you?

It’s a rare bird who says no. If you do say no, I might ask you to sit with that idea a bit.

Weekly Letter: Seeking Authenticity

*Weekly Letter is the letter I include in my weekly yoga studio newsletter.*

In reflection after a weekend away with my husband, we were talking about what we love to do when we travel or go places and I surmised that we go for an authentic experience. I struggle with places that are too stark and crave places that have color or character.

As I was reflecting on this, it took me to the practice. What if your practice was a checklist I gave you? ‘Follow these steps to achieve yoga bliss!’ Would you do it? How far down the list would you go before you called bull?

Would it make a difference if the list was only 5 items?

How about 50?

The thing is, if I gave you a list, no matter the size, the list itself would breed a generic feeling. How can I really make a master list of things to do in order for you to connect to yourself in a deeper way? How can I propose to know YOUR path?

While I have experiences and training to guide, the value of the work really lives within the effort you put forth. You can’t outsource that. And you can’t fake it either. You wouldn’t look at your practice the same if you could and you might resent the person making such a promise.

The value is in the work,

~Carmen